Removing Barriers

I’ll never forget my OBGYN doctor stating, “I’m not saying you can’t get pregnant, but…” The rest was a blur. The delivery of her message cut deep.

As I lay on the exam table, it was the first time a doctor acknowledged that there was something wrong. Something wrong with my body and something preventing me from experiencing what seemingly “happens” to so many women.

I felt my body had failed me.

A hysterosalpingogram (try saying that five times fast) was the first of many invasive tests that I would learn to understand and endure.

Leaving the appointment, I had no answers but simply a referral to a fertility doctor. I had hoped that the hysterosalpingogram would yield a “quick fix,” but it left me feeling defeated and confused.

Fast forward to sitting in the fertility clinic for our initial consultation.

The doctor was wonderful, confident and experienced. He concluded that our best chance for having a child would be IVF.

On our fertility journey, both my husband and I wanted to consider every possible way to get pregnant. I had always known IVF to be an option, and at this moment it felt like our best one.

As we started to wrap our heads around the process, we were given the cost. We were told our insurance would cover nothing and that the total cost, not including medication, would be close to $20,000.

As we drove home that afternoon, we talked about all the ways we could make this work: We could take out a high-interest medical loan, we could take time to save more, we could look for support from family, or perhaps one of us could get a job in Massachusetts, where coverage is provided...

…all of this with no guarantees.

What would we do if the first round of IVF didn’t work? Would we be able to stop there? Could we afford another $20,000? Accruing debt to try to have a child didn’t feel like it would be in the best interest of the family we so longed to build.

All the options considered didn’t work for us, so we decided to wait and do more research.

I went home and searched for fertility coverage options in our state. I couldn’t believe it was deemed “elective” and not “medically necessary”.

As I dove deeper into the pool of information, I found New Hampshire SB279, a bill that would expand coverage to fertility care through health insurance. Resolve New England was leading the advocacy for this bill within the upcoming year.

I started to follow RNE on all media platforms and read as much as I could.

I wrote to our governor about our situation and how much this bill passing would mean to us.

I told this to all of my close family and friends, who then wrote and called their legislators on our behalf. I followed the bill, perhaps a bit obsessively, waiting and waiting as it made its way to the NH Senate and House of Representatives for consideration.

New Hampshire's Access to Fertility Care was signed into law in August of 2019 and took effect on January 1, 2020.

When the bill finally passed, I was flooded with emotions. The single barrier preventing us from moving forward with our dream was no longer there. For insurance companies to reclassify fertility treatment and diagnosis as medically necessary felt so incredibly reassuring. For us, this was not an “elective” choice, but rather our only choice in having a biological child.

We contacted our health insurance company and were informed that we would need to wait several more months (notice a theme here?) until our next insurance coverage plan year began in July.

We waited, but this time it was with hope and a plan. We were thrilled this meant we could finally move forward.

When our new insurance coverage plan began, we dove into IVF: the diagnostics, medications, surgeries, ever-changing timelines, lots of emotions, and more waiting.

After two full rounds of treatment I was pregnant! I’ll never forget the day the doctor called and told me the news - I could barely stand up.

How amazing it was to me that once the barriers to access fertility treatment were removed, we had the opportunity to start the family we always wanted.

Our beautiful baby boy was born in January of 2022. Our world has never been full of more love and joy. I find myself constantly looking at him in amazement. He is here and he is ours.

Thank you to Resolve New England and to all those who advocate for fertility coverage. We are forever grateful that I was able to access the care I needed to bring our baby into the world.

And to all of you embarking on this fertility journey, take advantage of the education, advocacy, and support from organizations like Resolve New England, and know that you are not alone.