Peace of Mind
The Importance of Parentage Acts
In the spring of 2020 when the Rhode Island legislature passed the Parentage Act, my wife and I were only a few months into a pregnancy we hoped would bring us our long-awaited baby.
Over the nearly 5 years we tried to conceive, the challenges of establishing legal ties to our child – especially for my wife as a non-biological, non-gestational parent – hung over our heads.
After the costs of infertility treatment, we constantly worried where the money would come from to hire a lawyer to usher us through the lengthy, complicated, and expensive process of a second parent adoption.
Early in 2020, we decided to take action. Andi had the opportunity to testify with Rhode Islanders for Parentage Equality (RIPE) and Resolve New England in support of the Rhode Island Uniform Parentage Act and to tell our family’s story.
My wife spoke, tearfully, about our journey to conceive, the many miscarriages we had endured, and our hopes and dreams for the future. I sat in the audience, six weeks pregnant with the embryo that would later become our son.
We waited for hours while the committee of jurisdiction heard other issues on their agenda. We waited alongside other families, many of them holding small children who were well past their bedtime by the time they were ready to hear our testimony. We clapped when the testimony concluded and it felt like the committee members understood the challenges we were facing.
Later that legislative session, after years of advocacy from the RIPE coalition, the legislature finally acted to protect families and kids like ours: with same-sex parents, and/or who conceived through use of fertility treatments or surrogacy.
The Rhode Island Uniform Parentage Act was signed into law on July 21, 2020. Our son Julian was born less than two months later.
One of the youngest members of RIPE at the signing of the RI Uniform Parentage Act on July 21, 2020.
With the backdrop of the Covid pandemic, we had more then enough other things to worry about as new parents! (Would we be able to access adequate birth supports? Would my wife be permitted to join me in the hospital for our son’s birth? Would we, or our baby, catch Covid during this vulnerable time?)
We were grateful not to have to worry about whether we would both be acknowledged equally as his parents.
One of the youngest members of RIPE at the signing of the RI Uniform Parentage Act on July 21, 2020.
One of the youngest members of RIPE at the signing of the RI Uniform Parentage Act on July 21, 2020.
This year, our son turned two years old, and he is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to us.
So much has changed in the almost two years since my wife signed the simple and affordable Voluntary Acknowledgement of Parentage (VAP). The process is now even easier, as it can be completed by parents in the hospital (rather than after birth, as the law went into effect a couple of months after our son was born.)
Unfortunately, political turmoil and recent decisions from the United States Supreme Court have also changed things for our family. Even with recent protections, it is possible that the rights of families like ours are in danger. We worry that our son will grow up in a world where he’s given messages that our family formation is different or wrong. Knowing that we have the additional protections afforded by the VAP has given us some needed peace of mind through it all.
We hope that our northern neighbors in Massachusetts will join the other New England states in taking similar action to secure the legal ties of all families no matter who they are or how they were created.
It is beyond time that Massachusetts families had the protections that similar families in their neighboring states do – updated, comprehensive parentage laws that provide peace of mind to families regardless of any changes to federal or state laws.
Meredith Wheeler lives in Providence, Rhode Island with her wife Andi and their precious toddler son, Julian (affectionately known as embryo #8.)
Meredith and Andi struggled with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss for many years, ultimately building their family with IVF and the use of PGT-A testing.
Meredith is a member of Resolve New England’s Advocacy Committee.
Massachusetts is the only state in New England that has not yet updated its state laws related to parentage, which is the legal parent-child relationship that is critical to the security and stability for children.
Download the MPA Fact Sheet
Despite great progress and advocacy from an incredible coalition of organizations, individuals, and families, the Massachusetts Parentage Act (MPA) has not yet passed. The MPA will clarify who can be a parent and how to establish parentage, which is urgently needed to reflect the rich diversity of families in Massachusetts.
A new two-year legislative session starts in the Commonwealth in January 2023, so the MPA will be refiled! We look forward to advocating for this vital legislation and will be keeping the Resolve New England community informed.
Sign up for email updates, hear family stories, and download the fact sheet on the MPA website and follow the MPA Coalition on social media @massparentage.
Download the MPA Fact Sheet
Download the MPA Fact Sheet
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